Dealing with Cravings

We all have them... those foods that our minds tell us we just can't live without. It may be something good for you like chicken breasts or steak, or it may be that, like me, you always seem to crave something that the world tells us is "bad".

Now, I don't believe in good or bad foods, but I know there are some foods that help us reach our goals and some foods that don't help us reach our goals. I tend to crave the latter.

Those who "know" me from VST, Bariatric Pal, and Facebook know that I have a major addiction to Cheetos. Early post-op, eating a few Cheetos here and there wasn't a problem. I could have a handful and move on, mostly because I had too much restriction to eat more than a handful. The problem with that is that the restriction eases up as you get further and further out from surgery, so you can eat more of any food. Add that Cheetos are a slider food, meaning that they don't truly fill you up, and I could do some serious damage to a family size bag, even with my little sleeve!

Today there was a discussion about whether post-WLS patients are Abstainers or Moderators. Sadly enough, I'm neither.  I crave certain foods fiercely, even 2.5 years out. What works best FOR ME is to allow myself one serving of my craving food per month. I will buy one serving size package of whatever the food is... used to be Cheetos, now it's Hershey's bar with almonds. Then I will sit down and eat that one serving size package with all the pomp and circumstance I can muster, enjoying every single morsel. Then I will not allow myself to have another serving for a month. It's a weird head game that I play with myself, but I cannot tell myself that I can't have something forever and ever or I will crave that food until I end up binging on it. This works for me. Your mileage may vary.

So, what are you? Are you an Abstainer or a Moderator? Or do you use some other method to handle your food cravings?

Tuesday Thoughts

I've been all over the boards for the last few days and have seen a couple of trends that make me happy, as well as a couple that make me sad.

Happy is seeing people recommit to their goals. Folks are doing liquid diets to break stalls. They are adding in exercise and more of it and I'm seeing so many people post their before and after pictures. It's inspiring and thrilling to see folks getting to their personal goals.

What doesn't make me happy, though, is seeing how judgmental we can all be. Someone posts a picture of a meal and others have to jump on the person. I've seen comments ranging from "You can't eat that!" to "That's not allowed!"  Really, folks? A sleever can eat anything they want to eat. I have always allowed myself to eat whatever I want on holidays. I actually ate a tiny slice of pecan pie on Easter! Oh, the horror!

Truthfully, I don't eat too much junk on a regular basis, but I didn't have this surgery to deprive myself forever.  I had this surgery to LIVE. Unless I see someone saying they eat bread every day and drink nothing but soda, I'm not going to comment on someone else's diet unless they specifically ask "What could be causing me to stall?"

Most of us have enough issues without someone tearing us apart because we eat red meat, or because we don't eat red meat.

I'd love to see the WLS community learn to be much more supportive of one another. Boy, would that be something to write home about! :)

Well, the scale was nice to me two days in a row! I'm down yet another pound. Of course, today I think it might be because I didn't drink enough water yesterday. I still struggle for that 64 ounces every day, but I'm very creative about drinking it.

I have to confess that I do have diet coke a couple of times a week. There's one sitting beside the keyboard as I type this. However, I'm nowhere near as addicted as I was pre-surgery. I've already had a 17 ounce bottle of water and two cups of decaf coffee this morning, then I ran out to a customer who offered me an ice cold bottle of diet coke. Yummy. I know that means I have to drink an extra bottle of water to make up for the soda, but that's worth it, in my opinion.

I'm adding a new picture to the blog today. This was taken a few days ago and I think it shows a lot about how far I've come in my journey... both in terms of weight loss and in terms of how happy I am normally.

Loving life and looking forward to what's coming next! :)

Lunar Eclipses and Life

So many people were talking about the Lunar Eclipse last night on FB that I really wanted to stay up and watch it. However, I hit my wall around 1 am and didn't actually get to see it. I'm enjoying all the pictures this morning, though, so it's all good.

The scale gave me another present this morning, another pound gone. It's amazing to me that all I had to do was commit again to drinking my water, moving more, and sleeping enough (see above paragraph) and the weight is coming off again. Of course, the weight loss now is not as rapid as it was early post op, but I still have my tool and it still works!

I'm 2 years and 8 months post op and STILL learning things about my sleeve! It's a great feeling to get up knowing that my sleeve is going to help me prevent regain and, when I forget, my sleeve is going to restrict my eating anyway.

Where have I been while I wasn't blogging... hmmmm, let's see. I'm self-employed and I was extremely busy for a few months last year. SO busy, in fact, that I didn't do any sewing or gardening, which are my two favorite hobbies. As of January, work slowed down so much that I have actually considered a "real job", but that hasn't panned out yet either. Right now, I feel like the universe, God, or karma (whichever you believe in) is sending me in a completely new direction, but I haven't figured out quite yet what that direction may be.

While I was walking this morning I was thinking about my next venture and I've come to the conclusion that I am going to work all the angles that are open to me right now and see which one bubbles to the top. Sometimes all I can do is let go of the control and see what happens.

So, here's a breakdown of what I'm working on, both at home and out in the big, bad world:

Sewing. I've always sewn as a hobby and lately I've been really into making purses, wallets, and baby stuff. Did I mention that I have a new grandson? He's definitely inspired me to make lots of things... blocks and bibs and baby quilts. I'm head over heels in love with him and that IS a new Granny talking!

Gardening. Everywhere I've lived I've had some kind of garden. I got away from it for about 18 months after my WLS because it was so hard for me to process raw veggies and I ate so little of them that it didn't seem worth my time to grow vegetables. However, I missed having my hands in the dirt regularly, so I have planted a container garden, plus a couple of flower beds. I'm starting small, just radishes, tomatoes, green beans, peas, squash and some herbs for now, but I may add more later.

 I've discovered that I love lightly steamed veggies. More importantly, my sleeve loves them as well. I may only be able to eat a very few at a time, but it's nice to go to the fridge and pull out two or three steamed green beans when I'm hungry. I also planted a flat of lettuce mix inside and I love cutting a small handful of that to use as a salad or to eat alongside my protein. Yummy!

Karaoke. This is a big one for me.  As an adjunct to the year of therapy I did after my WLS, my therapist asked me to find a way to be more social. I've always been outgoing, kind of the life of the party type. What she wanted from me, though, was to learn how to interact with people without having to make myself the butt of jokes. We have all had one, or been one, you know... the fat person who is always making others laugh while poking fun at themselves. What I had to learn was to interact with people socially without picking on myself. That's where karaoke came in for me. 

I sang "Delta Dawn" (very badly) for my debut at karaoke. My hands shook, my voice shook, and I wanted to crawl under the table... then everyone applauded me. The KJ (karaoke jockey) gave me some encouraging words and I had the nerve to get up and sing again... and again... and again. After doing it for over a year, I'm pretty comfortable at it now. I have been told a few times that people like my voice and I even won a karaoke contest at the local bar! I don't flatter myself that I'm great, but I am okay at it.

Oh, and the biggest thing is that I'm no longer making jokes at my own expense. I have other things I can talk to people about when I'm out and other connections with people socially. THAT was my therapist's goal.

I guess the lesson here for me and for other post-WLS people is that eventually our weight becomes a secondary issue in our lives, whether we reach goal or not. For so long it seemed to be all consuming... worrying about the number on the scale, measuring my food, being totally obsessed with every aspect of my "food life". Now I'm learning the long-term requirements of WLS. I have always said I had this surgery to LIVE and now I'm learning how to live with my surgery. The tool is there and now I'm learning how to adapt my lifestyle and hobbies to my new normal.

Overall, that's a great thing. I'm still on MY journey, but I'm finding that I (still) love the journey.

So, I've been the WORST blog host ever!  I let life get in the way of my posts and I decided that it's time to get back on my horse, so to speak.

To update the two of you who still follow me, I've moved back to my hometown and my business is in the process of reinvention. I haven't regained much weight (about 20 pounds), but I don't want to start down that slippery slope, especially as I never made it to my goal weight.

However, changes are happening here and I have committed to my diet and exercise plan all over again and dropped 17 pounds with very little effort. Gee, this is supposed to be hard, right? It is and it isn't... and that's the thing no one ever tells you.

WLS (weight loss surgery) gives you a tool that is good forever. But that tool is only as good as how you use the tool. If I give you a power saw and you try to cut wood without plugging it in, then it's going to be really hard to cut the wood. That's where I'm at right now. I'm working hard to plug my power saw in and use it properly. Of course, in my case, the power saw is my sleeve.

I have been really bad about not drinking my water and about allowing carbs back into my diet. As of about a week ago, I have started meeting my water goal again and simple carbs are out!

Sunday update

I guess I should update a few things around here.  I'm now at 261, and a size 16/18, depending on cut of the clothes. While my weight loss has slowed, I've been increasing my workouts and I'm now up to walking 1.5 miles (to/from gym) plus at least 30 minutes on the recumbent bike while at the gym. I have two goals on exercise: sweat profusely and get in at least 7 miles on the bike.

I'm seeing results, both in my clothes size and in my body. When I first started on the bike at this gym, my butt and hips rubbed my hands when I grabbed the side bars. Now I have at least 2 inches on each side between my hips and my hands. NSV for sure!

I have less restriction than before, although I still can't eat a lot at one sitting. I've recently been adding in more carbs and veggies because the carbs seem to help keep my endurance up for the workouts I've been doing. I'm still doing weights as well. I carry a 2 pound weight in the car and do my arm exercises while I'm driving long stretches. When I'm home, I use 5 pound weights for those arm exercises. I'm seeing results in my arm muscles from that as well.

The last couple of weeks have seen me add more protein replacements into my diet in order to meet my protein goals. I bought some GNC Total Lean protein shakes yesterday...meh. I'll drink them because they aren't horrible, but they aren't great either. OTOH, Clif bars are YUMMY! They have 15 grams of protein each and taste good, although the bars are kind of ugly looking.

Stir-fry has been my go to food lately. Lots of shrimp and steak stir-fried with veggies. I bought a couple of different sauces to try in them and the philly cream cheese sauces are okay. I haven't tried the two chinese sauces I got, although that's on the agenda for this week.

For some reason, my visit with my surgeon last week has really upped my confidence level about my weight loss. I feel like goal is really achievable now. I'm so close to 100 pounds lost that I can almost taste it. I'm anticipating the happy dance for it already!! :)

Life with the Sleeve

So, for the last few days, I've been incredibly busy with work. That's a great thing, but it makes keeping up with my eating/drinking a little tough. I've posted before that I must get 64 oz of water and 70 g of protein in me daily for optimal results from my sleeve. So, here's how I've done it the last few days.

Each morning, I try to drink 1 16.9 oz bottle of water before I leave the house. I also take my meds with this bottle of water, so I have a mini babybel right after I take the meds. My multi-vitamin is in my morning med routine and it contains iron. Iron on an empty stomach for me is a no-go.

I take a Premium Nutrition protein bar with me in my purse. This often becomes my official breakfast, and it's a great start to my day. They are under 300 calories and have 30g of protein. I prefer the Yogurt Peanut Crunch bar, but any of them are okay tasting. I buy a box of 15 at Sam's for around $14 dollars. Another bottle of water goes with me, usually flavored with Mio drops. If you haven't tried these, they are the BOMB!  The orange/tangerine drops make my water taste like Sun**Kist, IMO.

Since I usually drive about an hour, I try to finish the bottle of water and the protein bar on my drive. Food first, wait half an hour, then drink the water. I'm usually pretty close to finishing the water. Thank goodness I can drink faster now than I could right after surgery!

If I have lunch, it's usually around 1:30 or 2pm. I take something with me if I know I'll be out that late, usually a tuna kit or a can of soup. If I do have to resort to eating somewhere, I prefer a sit down restaurant because they almost always have a chicken breast/veggie combination I can eat. If I must do fast food, I'll order a salad with grilled chicken or a grilled chicken breast sandwich and eat part of the chicken and veggies on the sandwich. I'm still not eating much bread at all. I think I had a piece of bread last week...to sop up the gravy from my homemade beef stew! ;)

I'm getting a little more creative at home with dinner. Chicken and pork have been my go-to meats for a long time, but I'm now adding a little beef in there. I like to set up the crock pot in the morning with a piece of meat and some dried beans. Season it well with chopped onion and some spices and I can let dinner cook all day. It's been really nice to walk in the door with dinner waiting on me the last few days.

My real challenge in the last couple of weeks is to start cooking for one person instead of half an army. When I bought this place, my son stayed in the apartment we had been sharing. He was a great disposal for all of my leftovers before and now I have to eat them myself or get over throwing away food. My thrifty brain has a conniption every time I toss food, so I have been working on cooking smaller amounts, or on freezing the leftovers.

One trick I found is to purchase a full package of meat, pork chops, thin sliced steaks, etc, freeze them on a cookie sheet, then store them in a plastic bag or container in the freezer. Right now mine are in a round tupperware container, but I'm going to look for two or three medium containers on my next goodwill run.  With a label, these should be a great place to store my meat. It's not like I need a ton. I can still barely handle 3 oz of meat per meal, so a medium container should be more than enough.

I also bought some "single serving" size veggies. Those are two servings (or more) for me, so I'll buy a bag of loose veggies next time and just dish out a spoon or two at a time.

One thing that seems to work really well for me, though, isn't tightwad at all: bottled water. I have a couple of water bottles and a water dispenser in my fridge, but I seem to remember to take water better if I can just grab a bottle from the fridge. Since I'm spending so little on other food, for right now, I'll use them. I really need to get myself in the habit of filling up my reusable water bottles and keeping them in the fridge, but I'm making a little progress at a time.

I do snack, but I try to make it healthy. I keep string cheese, mini babybel cheese, and peanut butter in the fridge/pantry. I've found that I really like something crunchy, too, so I have a bag of pretzels. I can eat 4 or 5 and feel satisfied, and they are great to dip in peanut butter for a sweet treat.  I also keep skinny cow ice cream in the freezer, but my lactose intolerance hit me pretty hard this week.

In other news, American Idol is back!! That's my one TV show that I don't like to miss. I really enjoy watching the young singers who are trying out...and, my track record is pretty good on who will be the biggest stars. That doesn't mean I always pick the winner, but I can usually tell who is going to go on to have a good career.